HEY! THEY MOVED MY BENCH!
Realizing and Responding to Change
This morning, I’m walking with Scout at Winton Lake and we came to one of MY benches and the unthinkable had happened. When they were cleaning up after the flooding, they must have moved the bench but when they moved it back, they didn’t put it where it had always been!
Here’s how the bench looked just a few days ago:
My first response?
I was annoyed.
Here’s what I texted Amy...
When they cleaned up the harbor area they moved the bench! Not a lot but enough to change how it looks!
Amy’s reply echoed what I was thinking and feeling...
Oh no! 😟
Can we move it back? What’s it made of?
Our conversation continued with a shift to being ok with the change. My comment was “Actually, I think it’s OK. Things change over the course of a year.” Amy replied, “And lifetime- change is inevitable.” I closed that part of our exchange with:
another way to look at it is that the new angle has you facing more of where the sun rises rather than the trees across the lake.
So I moved to a place of accepting the change and trying to see the change for something new that it could bring. But my first reaction was centered on me. “I have 95 other photos of that bench in the exact same spot since January! How dare you move it!?” I didn’t think of the crew of people who spent a lot of time cleaning up the harbor area and having to move a heavy bench and then move it back. I didn’t think about possibilities of a different viewpoint. I was only thinking about whether I should move it back, as Amy also wondered…
But even if we tried moving it back, it would never be in exactly the same spot. Change happened and the bench isn’t going back to how it once was.
And I’ll admit, I’m sad about it a bit.
When I created the videos showing all the photos of that bench this year, I loved how the bench never seemed to move but the change was all around it - snow, water, flooding, light, color, sunlight, clouds...all of them change but the bench? Nope - the bench didn’t move. I had a focus point on my camera that I knew exactly where to place it on the right side of the bench to keep things lined up just right.
Until yesterday.
You can probably see where I’m going with this. That dreaded word...
Change.
Like Amy said, “Oh no! 😟”
Serving in the church, there’s plenty of jokes based in a consistent reality about change.
How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb?
We don’t change that lightbulb. Ethel Achanbach donated that lightbulb to the church in ’66.
How many Presbyterians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Well, it should require about five committees to review the idea first. If each is staffed with half a dozen members, that's what ... 30?
There are plenty of others. After all, there’s plenty in Scripture that speaks to the unchanging nature of God (God is the same yesterday, today, and forever) or about the unshakeable foundation that is the church. We sing hymns like “The Church’s One Foundation” or “On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand” or “Great is Thy Faithfulness” or recent songs like “Always” by Chris Tomlin - all of these speak to the unchangeableness of God and often that gets extended to the church (order of service, types of music, times, schedules, arrangement of furniture, ways of doing ministry, etc)
But it isn’t just the church by any means. It is life. There’s the cliche that says that the only constant in life is change. But in the midst of ever-present changes, we do find security in rhythms and routines. These are important. And I’m one of those people - ask my wife or my kids about my routines... Our routines and rhythms help us as so much else around us is changing.
But even with those routines and rhythms, changes are still ongoing and will stay ongoing and the question is how we respond to those changes.
Do we respond with anger?
No, that’s how it always has been and always will be!
Or stubbornness?
You’ll never make me accept that or believe that!
Or a desire to change it back?
If we just do this or do that, we’ll get things back to the way they were...
Or curiosity?
I wonder why this thing changed. I want to try to understand it more.
Or hopefulness?
Maybe there’s something new and beautiful here...
Or _________ (insert your own feeling and response here)
One of the things that makes me ache about the state of things right now is how fear is being used as a primary emotion to respond to change rather than curiosity. It is using fear and anger to try to make people more resistant to change without even trying to understand why those changes are arising. Curiosity, asking questions, wondering...these don’t necessarily mean that one has to like the changes, but they do open up conversation and understanding far more than fear and anger.
In the church I serve, I am excited about an event happening on Sunday night about Skills to Disagree Better and how to engage one another with curiosity and wonder rather than immediate pushing back. Embedded within this is how we respond to change.
With the bench this morning, I am sad that I will not have 12 months of the perfect flow that I was thinking I’d have. I had to adapt and figure out this morning where my focus point is going to be going forward and it may change as the days go forward. And maybe someone else will not like how the bench is and may go and move it back on their own. But, as for me, I’m going to try to adapt and accept and see what newness might emerge with this same bench in a new place.
A few other quick things to share of what I’m reading/listening to/ etc.
Books
The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley - I just finished this really fascinating sci-fi-ish novel. First third is a bit challenging but there is a point about ⅓ of the way in that it becomes really hard to put down.
See No Stranger: A Manifesto of Revolutionary Love by Valarie Kaur - I’m about ⅔ of the way through this book and it is just rocking my world in so many ways. I am finding myself encouraged in my work but even more so convicted about how much more we can do about learning to really have a love that is revolutionary and transformative. This book feels like a necessary read for anyone who wants to see a different world than we have now.
Podcasts
Is Music the Language of the Universe? - Startalk, October 4, 2024. Goodness this is such a beautiful conversation about the science and wonder behind how we respond to music. Beautiful, funny, insightful.
Vice President Kamala Harris Interview - All the Smoke - September 30, 2024. This is a really unique conversation between Kamala Harris with the hosts of All the Smoke. The hosts are Matt Barnes and Stephen Jackson, former NBA players. The conversation is funny, insightful, and is simply a great way to help to get to know VP Harris as she is running for president. For those who have said, “I don’t know enough about Kamala Harris” this is a great place to start. Here are the links for it on Apple Podcasts and Spotify
And finally, a few other images from the last few days...
Grace, Peace, Love, and Joy,
Ed
I love your take on things
I love the light hitting the web and that reflection! Gorgeous captures.