Women of God

(Warning - long post ahead)

If you run in the same circles as me on twitter this week, you probably saw the outrage about a truly awful article about women posted on the site of a well-known evangelical church-growth organization.  I really cannot even put into words how awful this article was and an implicit and explicit perspective on women in the Christian faith.  It frustrates me because I have drawn some things from this site in the past and am stunned that they would share such an article.  I’m not sharing the organization nor a link to the site because I don’t want to give it any more site views than it already has.  I am sure you can find it if you dig enough, but I don’t recommend it.  ‘

So rather than dwell on the awfulness of this article, I want to lift up three women who have made an incredible difference in my life and in the lives of many others.  Each of the things in this photo speak to me of these amazing women of God.

The first is a dear woman who passed away this past Sunday.  Bonnie was a member of the congregation I serve and through her life she exemplified grace, faith, joy, and beauty.  I learned when I saw her obituary that her given name was Bonita, which means “beautiful” in Spanish.  She could not have a more fitting name.  She was a beautiful woman inside and out even as MS had ravaged her body over the last 40+ years.  Even after her diagnosis, her life showed how one can still live even when living with a condition like MS.  She and her husband shared this simple piece of word-art about the Fruit of the Spirit when we were doing a series on them in our congregational life last summer.  I don’t know if Bonnie would have said this herself (I doubt it) but she was a living example of each of these - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  She had such a deep and personal faith in Jesus that was so evident to anyone.  I will so miss her insights and deep work with Scripture in Bible study and in other conversations.  I have had message after message from people in my congregation sharing the stories of what Bonnie meant to them - how her life changed theirs.  It has been a beautiful outpouring of love and yes, of grief.  I especially am treasuring today her willingness to be Mary in our “reverse Christmas pageant” this past Christmas Eve.

On a personal level, she (along with many others in my current congregation) also helped me in my own healing.  After having been deeply wounded by some members of my previous congregation, she exemplified what it means to care for and support a pastor (and others on our staff as well).  And it meant so much to me to know that my photography spoke into Bonnie’s life as she and her husband have several of my pieces hanging on the walls in their home, including one at the table where they would sit together in their kitchen.  Bonnie will be so dearly missed in our community.  Thank you, God, for bringing Bonnie into this world and into my life.

The second woman is one who is in the final days of her life. Sometime soon, I am expecting to read an update on CaringBridge that my dear friend and former colleague, Lisa, will pass from this life.  Lisa and I served for several years together in my previous congregation and we have lived in the same community, eaten at the same pastry shop, took children to the same schools, and so forth.  Three years ago, just as Covid was beginning to change our lives and our world, she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and has endured so much to simply  e able to live for these three years.  Unlike Bonnie who was able to live for 40+ years with her condition, Lisa will only live about three.  But like Bonnie, Lisa reflected how to live in the midst of the battle she and her family have had to face. 

Her hundreds of posts on CaringBridge reflected the breadth of her experience through these years.  Moments of hope and joy, times of deep lament and anger, courageous steps, deep grace, and a lot of humor.  Through these last three years, Lisa has been fierce and unyielding against this cancer but still open to the tender, gracious, and loving presence of God’s Holy Spirit.  In the weeks after her diagnosis, she recorded the voicing of the interactive Stations of the Cross that I just reposted a few days ago and I am so grateful to still have her voice continuing to speak.  Her voice (literal and otherwise) is what touched my life time and again especially in the years that we served in ministry together and in the years since.

In the midst of a tumultuous time in our congregation, she gave me space to be honest about how I was feeling through it all.  She helped me hold together both the beauty of what God was doing in our midst but also the pain and frustrations that were present as well.  “It’s all in there” were words she shared time and again through our ministry time together.  Those four words helped me so much to hold all of it together - yes it was tumultuous and painful, but there was also incredible beauty and Spirit-work going on.  Those words continued be ones that echoed in conversations and text-exchanges in the years that followed - laughing about turkeys running around our town (including the names we gave to them), celebrating God’s work in our ministries, lamenting the pain of this world and life, and the common challenges we saw in parenting growing children.  One song that will forever speak to me of Lisa is The Summons, written by John Bell.

This song is a beautiful telling of the whole of what we are called to when following Jesus.  It was sung the final Sunday I served in ministry with Lisa and I always think of her when I hear it still to today.  It is a song that we also sang at my installation service almost exactly a year ago when Lisa was gracious enough to come and preach at the service even as she was continuing her cancer treatments.

The two Star Wars pillows were Lisa’s blessing gifts to me after I announced my resignation in 2018.   She said I didn’t have enough Star Wars stuff in my office and they have been on my couch in my new office ever since.   Thank you, God, for bringing Lisa into this world and into my life.  Please be beautifully present to her and her family in these difficult final days.

And then there is a third woman, Rachel Held Evans.  I never met Rachel.  I only knew her through her amazing wisdom and insights in her books and the messages I heard her share.  In her books she helped me through my own journey of deconstruction of faith and the ongoing process of reconstructing it today.  She showed what it was to be a fierce advocate for justice and for God’s work not just for the next life but this life.  She exemplified what it meant to be inclusive and welcoming.  But she did it with humor and honesty - recognizing her own failings and how far she still had to go to look more like Jesus.  She called the church to truly live out who we are called to me and was not afraid to call the church out when we were moving away from looking like Jesus. 

Rachel died at 37 in May of 2019 after an unexpected infection took her life in the span of about few weeks.  Even though she has been gone for nearly four years, I continue to return to her words and wisdom.  In the weeks leading up to Lent, we were using her video reflections on the sacraments in our Sunday morning Bible study.  I also wonder what she would have spoken into the many events of the last few years.  I know it would have been deep, thoughtful, faith-filled, a bit snarky, but with a heart towards trying to help us all be more like Jesus.  The book in the photo is one that was printed after her death as she had been working on a children’s book called What is God Like?  This book is gorgeous, beautiful, and faith-filled and has become my go-to gift for families when doing a baptism for their child(ren).

Thank you, God, for bringing Rachel into this world and into my life in a different way.  May her voice continue to speak prophetically into this world even as she has been gone.

And all three intersect right now in my life and ministry.  Those videos I mentioned of Rachel were what we were centering upon in the final times that Bonnie was a part of our Sunday Bible study and Bonnie spoke with me about how much Rachel’s words and insights meant to her.  And as we have moved into the season of Lent, we are centered on the wisdom of another amazing woman whose faith and words were shaped by a brutal battle with cancer, Kate Bowler.  Our theme is “Bless the Lent We Actually Have.”  As we were crafting the bulletin covers for the season,  I envisioned two hands cupped reaching out in a simple way like an offering.  When I looked in my photo library, there was such a photo of Lisa’s hands and so those grace our bulletin covers through this season.

So in this week where I could choose join in the (justified) outrage about this awful article that I referenced at the beginning, I instead want to lift up these three (four if you include Kate Bowler as well) amazing, strong, fierce, courageous, faithful, prayerful, beautiful, and loving women.  I want to lift them up because it is the stories of women like them and the ways that they have lived out their faith in Jesus that we should be celebrating. We should be looking to their lives and be encouraged and challenged in how we are to live our lives of faith as well.   

Thank you God for these women.  Thank you for the many other women in my life who have transformed my life (especially my amazing wife).  Thank you for the women whose names we know and can lift up and for those whose names are known only to a few. Thank you for the countless women who serve boldly and faithfully even as many in the church do not see them as full partners.  May we all see the fullness of your image in them and in all people.  I don’t like the idea of living in a world without Bonnie, Lisa, and Rachel, but I will honor them by seeking to live the way of Jesus each day.