Noticing (White)
For a color that often symbolizes cleanliness, purity, and holiness, white sure is messy.
The Bible talks about how white is the color of forgiveness (sins that were once scarlet, now white as snow). Traditional concepts of a wedding in western culture emphasize the purity of the bride as she wears a white wedding dress. Holiness is also often symbolized by white as seen in the white robes that the Pope or other religious leaders wear (including me sometimes).
But at the same time white carries a lot of weight along with it. White also gets used to refer to groups of people, aka caucasian. But within that there’s a lot of gradation. I am considered white/caucasian because I am of 50% Polish ancestry and then a mix of other European backgrounds in my other 50%. But I tan incredibly quickly and my skin doesn’t necessarily look “white.” In fact, at my seminary orientation, I was asked by one of the facilitators if I was planning on attending the international student activities. When I asked why, he replied, “Well, you’re Filipino aren’t you?” My response - “Um...no. I’m Polish.”
Awkward.
This sense of white also is very tied to some of the dangerous movements in my country’s history and in my country’s present moment - white supremacy and white Christian nationalism. In both of these, those of “white culture” are centered over and against others and thought to be better, smarter, or more important - none of which are remotely true. These practices have and are currently creating true harm and pain and need to be resisted and condemned.
And even in something as seemingly neutral as web and graphic design, “white” is not simply a single color. While one shade can be represented by the hexcode #FFFFFF, there are over 100 other color shades that are considered white in graphic design - some of which look more pink or grey or tan to me. Here’s a page that describes this.
So, yeah...white is messy and far from simple. And I experienced being aware of white to be a bit messy this week as well in the sense of “what is white?” Is the slightly off white of the ceiling tiles in my church office “white”? What about the long-exposure of the waterfall that gave a sense of silky white smoothness but if it was a split second exposure, it would have looked vastly different? What about the muddy heart that was hanging off a tree that was white under the mud? Was it still “white”? Or that one spot on Scout’s back? Are those strands of fur white? Grey? Something else? Or the reflection of the sun off the water in the morning? Outside the camera, the reflection looked to be a gleaming white but the exposure made it more golden, at least until I adjusted the white balance in post processing. So yeah, it was messy.
Because “white” is so hard to pin down, noticing it this week felt more like discovery than definition.
Discovery was something I heard in a Rilke poem I read on Monday night before bed. It came from his Collected French Poems and was shared in my “Daily Rilke” book I’m slowly working through. The poem was called Orchard and Road but what I heard in it was simply a message about being willing to listen and to hear what is around us - to receive what comes. So, I’m ok with the messy, even if I’m not ok with how messy “white” is making the world right now.
Orchard and Road
In the traffic of our days
may we attend to each thing
so that patterns are revealed
amidst the offerings of chance.All things want to be heard,
so let us listen to what they say.
In the end we will hear what we are:
the orchard or the road leading past.1
My noticings for the week
Where did you see white this week?
The color for the week ahead is purple!
Grace, Peace, Love, Hope, and Joy,
Ed
From Collected French Poems by Rainer Maria Rilke. Quoted in Barrows, Anita; Macy, Joanna. A Year with Rilke: Daily Readings from the Best of Rainer Maria Rilke (p. 131). . Kindle Edition