My Grieving and Angry Heart

A heavy and angry and hurting heart today.  Feeling things deep in my chest today - literally feels like my heart is aching.  These photos capture a lot of how I have experienced today

A morning where I could not find balance in my yoga session.  Moves that I normally find easy to do just reflected the unsettledness that fills me today.  

A glimpse of the rising sun through a grey morning - something that always reminds me of the possibility of the new emerging.  

A reminder that new life is all around even in broken times.

The school that my children attended in elementary remembering when I went there 10 years ago after Sandy Hook waiting to hold my young children remembering those who would never hold their living child again.  Feeling the same today.  

A scattering of raindrops that felt like they are coming from eyes that have no more tears to cry.

One rock broken open and shattered like I feel every time one of these preventable horrors takes place

Another rock, unbroken and solid, at the center of a prayer labyrinth where I found 21 stones already placed when I arrived at the center.  A reminder of the 21 lives  stolen to which I added a 22nd grieving the brokenness of a young man who committed this atrocity.

And lighting candles before the praying hands of Jesus in Gethsemane asking in the same spirit of desperation and anguish... can’t things be different?  

Lord, in your mercy.  

Hear our prayer.

Use us. Use me to change this.