Chapter 18 of Hope: A User's Manual - I’m writing this on June 14, Flag Day and it is being posted the day after the 4th of July. Interesting how these things come together. There’s a lot that stirs for people with images of our nation’s flag. What stirs in you when you hear the name Colin Kaepernick? What about people not standing for the flag? What about a flag flying upside down? What about a Christian cross draped in an American flag? What about flags that are similar to the American flag but are instead blue and black (Thin Blue Line flag) or are in rainbow colors (Pride flag)? There’s a good chance that no matter where you are on the social-political-theological spectrum, one or more of those stirred a bit of something in you, potentially some anger...
Just a quick note on the photo - I photographed this several years ago at a cemetery I was wandering through while I was passing time before a meeting was going to start at the church next door. This partial flag was just trampled off the side of the path through the cemetery. It looked like it had been there for a long time and who knows how many people walked by it or drove by it and either ignored it or never even saw it. I took the pieces home with me and burned them in our fire pit in our back yard.
I’m not sure…..I can sense the anger immediately for righteous anger, such as in the oppression of the vulnerable. But I don’t sense it within towards myself until it’s so “big” and “vast” that I could explode. My personal/unconscious process seems to bypass anger and Ho directly to sadness and grief. I just don’t know! Which comes first? Anger or grief? I’m unclear but I do know that the two are enmeshed, in my experience. And I can’t seem to fully address and/or release it until both have been explored/acknowledged!
This is a curious topic for me. As a 17 year old who was “passing out” in school —the organic root causes were unfounded (thank God). Looking into psychosomatic causes (of course I SUSPECTED THE UNSPOKEN ROOT CAUSE—I had lived it for 14 years) my psychiatric team would not “release” me from hospital until I demonstrated that I COULD get angry. It took me two weeks to do so. I learned to get angry (for others, not necessarily myself). I become VERY angry over bullying. Oppression of the powerless or of marginalized people both saddens AND angers me. I’m not sure that I can discern which leads to which. Anger or grief? I know that I tend to carry grief with me. And it may not leave my body energetically until I can touch the anger and dare to feel it. THEN I need to go to the river and throw stones into the river. Energetically, this conscious act really helps.
This is a helpful reflection Marcia - I didn't make the distinction in my post between various forms of anger and that is a good note to remember. But I do wonder if there is still a grief underlying righteous anger as well as unhealthy anger (even as I type that I hate putting it into a simple dichotomy). Is the grief underlying righteous anger (or I've also heard it called virtuous anger) one where we are grieving the ways that we are hurt or others are hurt?
I believe it was Tara Brach (perhaps quoting someone else) who said, "anger is a lazy form of grief."
🤔
Just a quick note on the photo - I photographed this several years ago at a cemetery I was wandering through while I was passing time before a meeting was going to start at the church next door. This partial flag was just trampled off the side of the path through the cemetery. It looked like it had been there for a long time and who knows how many people walked by it or drove by it and either ignored it or never even saw it. I took the pieces home with me and burned them in our fire pit in our back yard.
I’m not sure…..I can sense the anger immediately for righteous anger, such as in the oppression of the vulnerable. But I don’t sense it within towards myself until it’s so “big” and “vast” that I could explode. My personal/unconscious process seems to bypass anger and Ho directly to sadness and grief. I just don’t know! Which comes first? Anger or grief? I’m unclear but I do know that the two are enmeshed, in my experience. And I can’t seem to fully address and/or release it until both have been explored/acknowledged!
This is a curious topic for me. As a 17 year old who was “passing out” in school —the organic root causes were unfounded (thank God). Looking into psychosomatic causes (of course I SUSPECTED THE UNSPOKEN ROOT CAUSE—I had lived it for 14 years) my psychiatric team would not “release” me from hospital until I demonstrated that I COULD get angry. It took me two weeks to do so. I learned to get angry (for others, not necessarily myself). I become VERY angry over bullying. Oppression of the powerless or of marginalized people both saddens AND angers me. I’m not sure that I can discern which leads to which. Anger or grief? I know that I tend to carry grief with me. And it may not leave my body energetically until I can touch the anger and dare to feel it. THEN I need to go to the river and throw stones into the river. Energetically, this conscious act really helps.
This is a helpful reflection Marcia - I didn't make the distinction in my post between various forms of anger and that is a good note to remember. But I do wonder if there is still a grief underlying righteous anger as well as unhealthy anger (even as I type that I hate putting it into a simple dichotomy). Is the grief underlying righteous anger (or I've also heard it called virtuous anger) one where we are grieving the ways that we are hurt or others are hurt?