A Whole Lot of Hope

About 24 hours ago (as of writing this), I was on a very different airplane than I am now.  I’m writing this in Economy seat 27A on a United Airbus A320.  24 hours ago, I was in the 2nd row of a twin propeller, 8-seat airplane with three other people returning to Corozal, Belize after spending the day in San Pedro on Ambergris Caye.  That was my third flight of the day on such a tiny plane - the first flying to the island, the second on a flight tour of the Blue Hole of Belize, and then the third returning back to the mainland.  As I flew over the incredible blue waters of the Caribbean, I was remembering Eds of years ago who would never have done a trip like that.  Those Eds might have worried about whether it was safe or whether it “made sense” to do it or a host of other excuses I might have come up with.  But now I was dreaming about how many other places I want to travel and things I want to see.

I was feeling content, heart-full, and looking ahead to the next adventure after this one of seeing one of the most beautiful sights in the world from the copilot seat of a prop plane, traveling all around the island on a rented golf cart, picking up three hitchhikers and delivering them to their destinations, finding an out-of-the-way dive bar and chatting with the server about the island and his growing up there, sharing about the community center work we were doing in San Pedro, then dangling me feet off a dock into the crystal blue/green waters, and a host of other mini-adventures.

As is often the case lately, aCarrie Newcomersong arose in my heart.  It was one that I started listening to before I left on this trip after not having heard it before.  I wasn’t sure what resonated with me about the song, however, until that moment on the plane.  The song is called A Whole Lot of Hope from her album, Kindred Spirits.  Here’s the song in full.  Take a few moments and listen.

As I listened to the song once again after getting back to our lodging yesterday I began to hear the meaning in it for me.  I heard it as a song trying to draw someone out, to encourage them to live their hopes and dreams, and to no longer let them be hidden away as heard in the refrain.

You’ve got a whole lot of hope
You’ve been keeping in your pocket safe from harm
A whole lot of dreams
You’ve been keeping in your pocket safe from harm

But at the end the song shifts from singing about someone else to being in the first person...

I’ve got a whole lot of hope...a whole lot of dreams...

and she adds

A whole lot of faith
I’ve been keeping in my pocket safe from harm.

The song shifts to maybe being about herself the whole time.  Her own unwillingness to jump into the unknown and mystery or all the hopes and dreams that never made it out of her pockets.  And I hear myself in that shift as well - it has always been easy for me to look at others but harder to take the jump and pull out my own hopes and dreams.

But then as the song ends, she returns to the beginning of the song and then it isn’t the lyrics that speak but instead the closing guitar chords.

Sometimes you just close your eyes and jump
You don’t think too long
Or maybe you just won’t

...As these final words are sung, the gentle chords of Carrie’s guitar end the song without resolution.  This beautiful song ends feeling like there should be a few more notes.  This unresolved ending feels like a waiting to see whether the person will pull out those hidden-away hopes and dreams and whether they will jump into the unknown and the mystery or they’ll think too long and miss the opportunity.

For most of my life, I’ve been the one who thought too long and ended up not taking the leap.  I’ve held my hopes and dreams in my pocket for far too long and chosen the safe and seemingly predictable.  I haven’t gotten onto the twin engine prop, haven’t sat in the copilot seat, haven’t picked up the hitchhikers in medical scrubs and found out they were veterinary students interning at an animal rescue center on a Caribbean island, and haven’t just stopped to let my feet dangle in the water.

But the my peace and the contentment on that tiny plane was unlike so much else of what I have felt in my life.  There’s a feeling for me of having entered a new stage of my life where I not only want to pull out my own hopes and dreams but also help others to do the same.  I want to help the congregation I serve be willing to close our eyes and jump, trusting in the great mystery to lead us as we drift into the fulfillment of God’s hopes and dreams.  And I want to experience all of this with the amazing people God has put into my life where it isn’t just me on that plane, but also my dear family, and others who may close their eyes and jump as well.

After all, Jesus didn’t call the disciples into a life of safety, security, and predictability, but a life of pulling out hopes and dreams and seeing what God has ahead.

Here are the full lyrics of the song:

Sometimes you just close your eyes and jump
You don’t think too long
Or maybe you just won’t

Sometimes you just follow your heart
Don’t analyze to long
Or maybe it might just be gone

You’ve got a whole lot of hope
You’ve been keeping in your pocket safe from harm
A whole lot of dreams
You’ve been keeping in your pocket safe from harm

I saw you laugh I saw you cry
I saw you leave the bar and run outside
I got off late and packed up tight
And walk into the cool and secret night
Wondering if you got home alright

You’ve got a whole lot of hope
You’ve been keeping in your pocket safe from harm
A whole lot of dreams
You’ve been keeping in your pocket safe from harm

I light a candle in my window every night
Been looking for a sign
As yet, I haven’t seen in
Maybe I will, maybe I won’t
Maybe I don’t care if I do or don’t
Maybe it’s just enough
To try

I’ve got a whole lot of hope
I’ve been keeping in your pocket safe from harm
A whole lot of dreams
I’ve been keeping in your pocket safe from harm
A whole lot of faith
I’ve been keeping in my pocket safe from harm

Sometimes you just close your eyes and jump
You don’t think to long
Or maybe you just won’t